Be sure to click on the pictures to enlarge them.
Ok, so here we go again - time for B-C.
First off, I found "The Olden Domain" (1997) by Borknagar in my CD-collection. A damn good record, but my oh my is this a complete graphic wreck or what. From the horrendous background to the cryptic front and all the way to that damn gnarled tree on the cover, there's absolutely nothing beautiful whatsoever about this. I really think I needn't say more.
|I also own this on a picture-disc and there's a reason it's not mounted on my living-room wall...|
And what's up with labels who obviously doesn't care shit about how the albums actually look like? I mean, here we have a classic band like Candlemass and it's a re-release of their iconic debut album "Epicus Doomicus Metallicus" were talking about. You would even think that perhaps the label-people would put a little extra effort into what they do right? But no. They were obviously in a hurry when they did this re-design which resulted in the back of the album turned in the wrong direction.
Now it's time to actually do give some praise as I finally have something positive to say. You can say whatever you want about the music of Cradle of Filth and the midget that fronts the band, but they've always been very consistent when it comes to the layouts of their albums. At least when it comes to those albums ranging from their debut "The Principle of Evil Made Flesh" (1994) and all the way up to "Midian" (2000) which are the albums I own by the band. Below are some examples from "Vempire" and "Dusk and Her Embrace" (both 1996).
I actually thought there would be more to dissect from the letters B to C in my collection, but there really wasn't. I couldn't find anything in particular to say about neither Bad Religion, Bay Laurel, Biohazard, Blodsrit, Bloodbath, Cathedral, Celestial Season, Clawfinger nor Cronian. But then I discovered something disturbing. Something I didn't even know what it was at first. Something so sinister, ugly and rotten that I've chosen to completely forget about it's existence...
I hereby give you Cult Disciples and their album "Hang by the Cross" (1997). It might be one of the worst albums I've ever heard and I am utterly ashamed to now, for the first time, acknowledge that I own this. In my defense, I actually got this as a "bonus" when I bought some album (can't remember which one, but I think it was something with Samael) from a guy online (from some Swedish equivalent to Ebay). Yeah, bonus my ass! This guy was very happy to be rid of this album for sure.
Anyway, it's a Swedish band, hailing from the same city where I currently live, and now, thankfully disbanded. Everything from the band name to the album title (sounds like a couple of guys hanging out by some cross and drinking beer) to some of the song titles ("The Hate I Have", ""Jesus Meets Pizzaman", "Cyberface", "Confronting Simon") reeks of horse-manure. The band obviously holds a certain King Diamond and Mercyful Fate as gods in their world (Borknagar-pun intended), but this is more like a fifth-rate kindergarten-band with juvenile lyrics and a musical performance that leaves a lot to be desired.
Some of the members even have a "No thanks to-list" which is hilarious in it's own. That each member, except mr. Ritchie La Roux (haha, I cannot stop laughing at that name), looks like they might be 18 or 19 years old and have aliases such as Deomgorgon Bilé and Mephistopheles only adds to the unintentional humor. The band also recommends books "for great reading", which happens to be "The Satanic Bible" by Anton La Vey and "Book of the Law" by Aleister Crowley - wow what a surprise!
I should probably have added more photos from the booklet, but this is something that you actually have to have a physical copy and flip through it to understand the magnitude of it all. It feels like a print-out of a webpage that very well might have been online back in 1997. For that reason alone, I wont throw this album away. I will never, ever listen to it again though.
I now wish to end Part 2 with the very last quote from Cult Disciples' amazing booklet:
"No thanks to the false! Burzum, Dark Funeral, Marduk
And all of you who wanna be like them:
Fuck You !!!"
Fantastic! But I wonder why they chose these particular bands. One Norweigan and two Swedish black metal bands. Why not include Mayhem, Satyricon, Emperor or Darkthrone in the list? I am truly curious about this. But anyway, doo yourselves a favor and check out this band on Metal Archives.